Panic....deep breath....panic....deep breath. For the past eleven years I have studied labor and birth. At first I studied so I could be a well informed consumer and a prepared birther. We took Bradley Childbirth Classes and I read every book on natural childbirth our local public library had to offer. We chose to welcome our Hannah into the world in the comfort of our own home. Over the next several years I completed courses in both childbirth education and professional labor support.
Two years ago the stakes were raised considerably as I began formally training to become a midwife. I have gotten clinical training in both a homebirth and high volume birth center setting. I have spent hours studying and have been called out of bed at all hours of the night. I have completed all the required clinical requirement...in excess (for those who know me well that will cause a smile). :) Now all that work boils down to my ability to pass two test, a skills test and a written test.
Thursday I had the first part of my testing, the practical skills test. The test is sent to a qualified evaluator. She opens it up, administers the test and mails it back, so it will be two weeks before I know the results. During the test I am required to preform certain skills and she makes mysterious marks on a very intimidating clip board.
I have spent the past two days reliving parts of the test in my head. Sam said I was talking in my sleep Thursday night and it sounded like I was preforming midwifery skills. I have moments were I feel as if I probably fared well on the test and should not be worried. Then I had moments were I feel I must have just bombed it and panic about what to it I did not pass. Mostly I have been trying really hard not to think about it at all and have tried to pour myself into other projects.
Besides the up coming births, I will not be doing any more studying until I get an official letter stating I passed. So for now I think we will focus on building a solar oven. It's my way of sneaking some school into the summer break the kids are really enjoying.
Thank you so much to everyone who stopped and prayed for me on Thursday morning, especailly the kids.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Hello and welcome to our new blog! I will introduce us better later. Tonight I just wanted to make a blog entry.
I was trying to think about where I should start. Should I blog about my new bread making endeavors, the solar oven we are planning to construct, our crazy travel schedule, my midwifery journey, or the incredible workshop I just got back from on midwifery in third world countries. Did you know every minute of everyday a woman dies due to childbirth and 99% of these deaths occur in third world countries?
I finally decided to do a little reflecting on Memorial Day. I had a busy day of prenatals today. Our last appointment was a 24 hour appointment for the baby born yesterday morning. As I drove I listened to NRP which was highlighting Memorial Day. They had a very interesting story on the celebrations held at Flander's Field in Belgium every year. Each year the local Dutch speaking school children learn and sing The Star Spangled Banner in English to honor the many American men that died there liberating their country in both WWI and WWII.
As I thought about the ceremonies today, I thought about how thankful I was that I was not going to lay flowers on my husbands grave. Instead, in just a few short days we will be celebrating Sam's one year return. Even though it was late when I got home, we packed up the kids and went to visit the Fayetteville National Cemetery. Sam's mom called when we got and home to say she was glad Sam was home safe and sound this Memorial Day.
Aa a side note Fresh Air on NPR did an incredible interview of a Iraqi veteran who as written a book. Click here to listen.
Looking forward to blogging again. Good night all.