Thursday, February 12, 2015

Thankful Thursday

I'll be straight with you.  I've been hurt very badly during this missionary people in "the ministry".  Much worse than I ever thought imaginable.  I have spoken of it to very, very few people.  Healing has been slow and painful.  Today someone posted a post by Women Living Well Ministries.  

She very concisely pens some things that I have journaled or thought in my journey to heal that is far from over.  One thing she said that I had never quite been able to put into words was "Moving on is not...Trust or reconciliation.  It takes two to reconcile.  When no acknowledgement of the pain they have caused you comes, this leaves an open wound that only Christ can fill."  

This struck me in two ways.  First, I am not the only one this has happened to, I am not crazy, I have been deeply wounded.  And secondly, for the moment, healing means a daily battle to turn my pain over to Christ and let him fill my open wound.  

Elizabeth Elliot, who knows great pain and great healing and forgiveness, adamantly and Biblically argues in her book A Pathway Through Suffering, that this was no surprise to God and He is in control, even in allowing this hurt. 

So, how am I working towards healing.  I'm doing lots of things.  I cry sometimes.  I journal.  I read my Bible and try to sit still at Jesus's feet.  I pray.  I pray blessings on those that wounded me (more on that later).  

One of my life lines during this time has been thankfulness.  I try to be actively thankful.  All. The. Time.  Not only is this Biblical, it is now being back up by research.  Don't believe me?  Check out this TedTalk by Shawn Achor, the founder of GoodThink. 

So, today, today I am thankful for my washing machine and water for my washing machine.  When we moved here, a Mexican lady gave us a washing machine.  It was in very bad shape and I tend to work my washing machine to death anyway (there are eight of us).  But it was a great sacrifice for her and a great blessing to us.  However, by the time it was put out to pasture, I don't think it really cleaned the clothes, I just put them in and pretended it did.  When we were in the U.S. for visa paperwork at the end of 2013 one of the families that supports us, bought us a brand new washing machine!  Hand wash a few loads of clothes and you will see why I am extremely thankful for my washing machine. 

So, thank you Lord:

  • For my washing machine.
  • For the new little person in our house that is making more laundry.
  • And for a pump, so we can wash clothes, even when there is no city water.

What are you thankful for today?