Waves in Arkansas

Bet you did not know we have waves in Arkansas.

Samuel had been land locked for 12 months and 26 days when we received heavy rains during the night on July 2nd. He woke up talking about river surfing and how he knew where there was going to be a wave today and could he go surf it. What?!? Wait, WHAT?!?

"I don't know, I'm trying to fix breakfast. We have church, go get ready for church."

What the heck is he talking about? We go to church. Our church can be a little long...in a good way, except not so much when the rain has stopped and you are worried about your wave disappearing. We talk and eat and pray and catch up and read scripture and talk about scripture. He patiently waits. We close in prayer.

"Mom, I have my board in Hannah's truck, can she take me to the river, I want to surf that wave before it is gone."

"Ummm, ok?"

After we say our goodbyes and get in the car, I pause and look at Sam. Wait, WHAT?!? "Ummm, I told Samuel he could go surf a river wave, maybe we should go check it out."

We locate Samuel, with his little brother in tow. He was right, there was a wave. How did he know there would be a wave there? {little brother was not going to surf or get in the water, but I can see how him standing by a fast following drainage area in the middle of town could cause some concern} Two concerned citizen were urging Samuel not to get in the current, as he was insisting it was perfect for boarding. A police officer was also pulling up.

After some discussion, the police officer noted that he thought it was dangerous, but he did not know of any laws that were being broken. {I want to put another caveat in here: my boys have spent a good amount of time in rough waters and surfed Zicatela Beach in Puerto Escondido, Mexico...think big waves, so I'm not recommending this for anyone without experience} 

We go to Lowe's for a rope to help Samuel get to the wave. This proved unnecessary. I choose to be in denial that I have to live with the consequences of raising adenine junkies and walk over the Barnes & Nobles to peruse books on tiny houses and gardens. {More on the tiny homes later}.

Okay, so it is not as good a getting up at the break of dawn, dipping into the Pacific and feeling the rush of breaking ocean waves, but it is pretty nifty. Now my boys are constantly watching the weather for heavy rain. Especially since Josiah had other obligations and missed this wave.

Transitions: Part one

You might notice that this says "part one", that is because it does not seem complete.  We are transitioning.  We have been on the transitioning merry-go-around since we began packing back in April...9 months ago.  During that time Sam and a missionary friend stood nose to nose with the Mexican mafia while our kids waited outside in the van, we experienced a gas strike, made an international move, sold the majority of our belongings (again), said some heart wrenching good byes, our kids changed schools, they have learned to drive, and navigate American fast food menus just to name a few.  (Just an FYI: you should never take a MK to a fast food restaurant and ask them to order whatever they want.  It is extremely generous...and overwhelming.) That being said, we have more clarity this month than we did last month, and for that we are grateful, but we are still spinning.  I described it to my friend like this, I feel we are in the very calm eye of a roaring hurricane and I am trying to navigate my next steps very carefully so I do not move out of the eye and get smacked in the face with debris!  This may be a ten part series, but I have no idea what part two looks like.  

As we were making plans to leave Mexico, we talked over a lot of places we could go.  We even strongly considered a move to Honduras and took a survey trip there.  Oh how I love working with pregnant women and their families at Hospital Loma de Luz, it made so much sense, such a great fit, and yet our hearts weren't quite there.  Partly because we felt we needed better training to be truly effective, partly because we are pretty worn out from the last five years on the field, and partly because our hearts are planted in the rocky Oaxacan soil.

We strongly felt we needed to return to Northwest Arkansas were our sending church and family are located and set our hearts in that directions.  Sam felt very strongly God was going to provide a home for us.  It was not long after that we received confirmation that we were moving in the right direction, when a family offered us a great home rent free for a year!!!  This was a blessing in so many ways, as we could not have made it financially without this extremely generous gift.  

We also felt that I needed to get my Bachelor of Science in Nursing.  We wrote out charts and researched and researched to figure out a scheme that would accomplish this mission and get us back to the mission field as quickly as possible.  I already have a bachelors degree, so we thought I could do prerequisites for a nursing program and then do and accelerated program nursing program.  This would hopefully, with no hiccups, get us back to the field in two years.  We did not feel easy about this, but we marched ahead.  On our wall was the quote from J.R. Tolkin "There is no real going back.  Though I may come to the Shire, it will not seem the same.  I am wounded with knife, sting, and tooth, and a long burden.  Where shall I find rest".  And that is how we all felt trying to navigate this vaguely familiar, but oddly foreign land.  We had gone on a grand adventure and we were not the same.  We could not unknown the grand world full of needs that we had witnessed.  

As we met with frustration looking at accelerated programs, the one in Arkansas was six hours away and we had already put the family through a lot of transition and the closer one would charge us out of state tuition and would still require a lot of driving and being away from the family, Sam suggested that we drive over and check out a local Christian College.  The tuition was more then we could even think about paying and the time was more than we wanted to stay.  Interestingly, they were very willing to work with me to get me in the nursing program and the program was brand new.  If I attended I would be a part of the first graduating class!  We left the admissions office feeling like it would be a great school for Hannah, if she could get a scholarship or grants.  Upon their request I sent them my unofficial transcript.  Did you know I graduated from college with a 3.6 something?  That's actually pretty good!  When the hand of God moves, it is actually good enough to get a scholarship to a nursing program!  The scholarship does not pay for all my school, but it is very generous.  Wow!  I'll just let that soak in for a while....
Just before I was offered the scholarship, we became conflicted by a quote from the amazing missionary/martyr Jim Elliot.  He said, "Wherever you are, be all there".  Our hearts struggle.  We see the things God is doing here, yet we are not completely comfortable here.  We see the things God is doing all over the world and we long to be there, even if we are not completely comfortable there.  Maybe, comfortable is a little over rated.  Maybe broken and stretched and completely present wherever you are is just right.  

Extending our furlough is a direction that we have walked down very reluctantly, but we strongly feel that in order to be effective missionaries we need to spend some time preparing.  Originally we had hoped to have enough support during this phase of preparing, so we could continue making trips and stay engaged in the things God has allowed us to be a part of in Mexico.  After six months of trying to make it work, we have decide it is time to be "all here" for this time.  Sam is looking for a job right now and we are excited about this "tent making" phase of our ministry.  God has already used these last six months here in the U.S. to begin building us back up.  He has sent wonderful people who are encouraging us and pouring into us and he has even given us ministries to be involved in.

I think our next quote will be from Dr. Suess, "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened" or maybe one from Corrie Ten Boom that says, "Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God."  What do you think would be a good quote for the Mean's board?  What are quotes you have in your house?

I just started my second semester out of six this week.  God was gracious enough to allow me to maintain a 4.0 during a very challenging first semester back to college after...well, several years.  :)  I'm so excited for this amazing opportunity!  I really do like school and learning!  I know, unleash the inner nerd.  Since, I was not offered the scholarship until early August and classes started in late August.  We were certainly scrambling last semester.  I am hoping to be a little more organized this semester and I think I am off to a good start.  

Equiping and Retooling

Well, if there was anything we learned doing cross-cultural ministry overseas, it is that we did not know much about doing cross-cultural ministry overseas.  And most of the things we were told or thought we knew, we were wrong about.  And that is okay, because now we have experience and because now we know what we don't know, or at least we have a better idea of what we need to learn.

 Learning a new language and cultural has a steep learning curve, especially when you are not equipped with the tools to make that process easier or the support you need to thrive in a foreign country.  Thankfully, we are generally not proud people, so when we realized we did not have any idea what we were doing, we did a lot of praying and leaning on Jesus.  That praying turned into a lot of God made opportunities and guidance.

God gave us the opportunity to pastor for a furloughing missionary and that is were He taught us about oral learners and how to better communicate with people that learn differently than we do.  We are hoping to do some more training while here in the U.S. to better prepare us in this area.  If you are unfamiliar with orality, you can start by picking up a very short and easy read called Making Disciples of Oral Learners.  It is a new year, be enlightened!

In preparing to present at a Christian Midwives International Conference, I stumbled upon some really great books on cultural intelligence, transformational development, and helping the materially poor.  All things we would need for a special family that would soon knock on our gate and all things we face often in our own back yard and on the foreign field.  If you are interested in learning more about these topics, I would suggest Serving with Eyes Wide Open, When Helping Hurts (don't be offended by it), or Walking with the Poor, which I am currently reading.  Also a great documentary to watch on a family movie night is "Reparando" (Repairing).  As you watch, let it be a good reminder, that where ever you are going, you are stepping into an already ongoing story.  Sometimes we are only helpful, if we take the time to "read" the back story.  {Here} is a trailer for the film on youtube and you will find the full documentary by clinking {here}. 

God brought opportunities, kind nationals, and missionary friends into our lives.  He brought Roca Blanca Language school, who not only teaches Spanish, but encourages cultural engagement and are happy to sit a share their years of experience as well.  All of this made for healthier more successful ministries that did not point to us, but pointed to our Savior and encouraged and uplifted those we would leave behind during this next chapter in our lives.  God allowed us to be apart of a church plant and Bible Institute that will continue on long after we have left.  He allowed us to finish well for ourselves, our ministry, and our children even though I was so done long before that last year.  And in that year, He allowed us to see a very up close and personal view of the medical system, gave us vision and direction, and deepened friendships for when we relaunch into cross-cultural overseas ministry again.

2016 is starting out a little shaky for the Means family.  We are transitioning to a time of "tent making", while we equip ourselves for a relaunch in a couple of years.  I'll be honest, that drop off looks pretty scary and it was not an easy decision.  Pray with us that we can find the right bridge across this daunting transition.  And rejoice with us that we have found a great ministry here in NWA to plug into.  A ministry that will stretch us, and support us, and hold us accountable to being missional in our everyday lives.  A body of believers that will be sad and excited to see us go when we do relaunch.

This lady was excited to see our kids gobble down the chapulines (grasshoppers) like pros!

Carie

Journey

Many, many months ago I ended a post with this quote and a promise to revisit the subject of poverty. 

"We must do our best to preach the gospel, to find cures for malaria, and to foster affordable housing.  But part of our striving is also to fall on our knees every day and pray, "Lord be merciful to me and my friends here, because we are both sinners."  And part of our striving means praying every day, "Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven, for without You we cannot fix our communities, our nation, our world."  -When Helping Hurts

 And then I went almost completely silent.  I know I have been quiet, but I have been on a long and difficult journey, a lonely valley journey.  It has only been in the past several months that with the right people beside me, helping me process, even when they did not know they were, that I have been able to begin to climb the steep bank.  I know I have been quite, but I have been on a journey; a journey I did not really trust myself to share or be honest about for a lot of reasons.  Recently, D.L. Mayfield shared a post entitled "The Brutally Honest Christmas Card".  When I read the title I could not stop myself from reading.  From the caption and photo, I got the idea they had also done cross-cultural work and I thought to myself, "Oh-no!"  Her words drifted off the page at me:

 "birth and nearly died"  

                                                                                        "said goodbye to amazing friends"

                                     "We put our daughter through....a lot of transition"

                    "it is taking forever to get back on our feet"
                   "hard to edit when you are sad and aren't sleeping"

It caught my breath...a flood rushed in...the room was spinning.  Someone had put words to my experience.  She had said what I felt I could not because I did not trust myself to in a healthy way and because the religious culture we came from demanded I stay silent and only share the positive.  I still do not trust myself to be half as honest as she was, so if you want to read about what my last several years really looked like (not the exact same events, but our own hard things relating to cross-cultural work), you can go read her blog.  She says it honestly, but with the same hope our own hearts are filled with right now.  Mission work was amazing.  God was so good to us.  I am grateful for the things he allowed us to see and learn, and the people he let us work along side.  What a privilege to not just get to praise God in one tongue, but with fellow believers in their heart tongue.  One of my favorite moments in Mexico was in a little national church that was hosting a medical clinic, a prayer went up; at first a lone voice in Spanish and then one in English joined it, then Korean and the indigenous language of Amuzco.  Can you image! 

But it was also hard, I have some pretty deep battle scares, some of them in my back.  I have experienced things that have left my heart broken, but I am grateful I am broken and my heart is broken, maybe God can really use me now.  

"But perhaps the most significant thing is that Jesus is no longer an abstract person, a walking theology, a list of do's and dont's to me. This is the year I recognized him as my battered, bruised brother, and I see how he never once left my side. " -D.L. Mayfield

The words from the quote surprised me when I read them as I sat down to try to start blogging again.  Reread the quote.  There is a lot packed in that humble prayer.  We are all suffering from a sort of poverty that is brought on by living in this fallen world.  Does not my own story bear witness to this; my struggle these years in Mexico as I grappled with my own identity, my own sometimes ugly heart, my own feeling of shrinking options.  It also surprised me that, while I had not come back to this blog in months, this prayer had really become a part of me.  It is the eyes through which I see the world.  A broken girl, living in a broken world, called to not look away.  

I know I promised to continue the series on poverty and the story about the lady that knocked on my door asking for help.  I will very soon, I promise.  It has proven much more difficult than I thought it would be, but after wrestling to find the right word all week, I am almost there and Sam says it is half way decent.  So stay tuned, I think it will be worth the wait.  In the mean time, here are some photos of a recent mission trip two of our boys were priveleged to be a part of.  Both the boys bonded with the young MK who lives there with his family.

They drove about six hours into the mountians.  This included a lot of curves, dirt roads and some fog, donkeys and turkeys.

 Their objective was to help paint a literacy center.  People will be able to come and learn to read in their indigenous language.  This is very important, since many indigenous people in Oaxaca understand their heart language better than Spanish or only speak the indigenous language.

What a good looking group!  All photo credit goes to Donna Shaver and Anna Perez.

Messy, Messy Missions Series: A honest look at poverty

Missions is not about projects, it is about people and, well, let's face it, sometimes getting involved in other peoples lives can get messy.  Many of us know this from experience.  Maybe we have tried to help someone and it did not work out the way we thought it would.  

Like my friend in the Philippines who offered her box of take home to a homeless person on the street.  Upon opening it and inspecting it, he remark he did not like this particular type of food.  I think I understand better why he did that now, but we will get to that later.  

The focus of our ministry here in Mexico is not to those in poverty, but we are faced with it often.  The fact that it is not our primary focus does not give us the liberty to turn our heads and pretend it does not exist.  Just because the situation seems too large for us to ever see results, does not me we are excused from doing anything. 

So what do you do?  What is a good way to help?  What will help the most?

A little over a year ago, I answered a knock at my door.  A woman was telling me her young daughter was pregnant and they needed money for doctor's visits and the birth.  As I asked more questions, she stated her daughter was having contractions.  

The need seemed urgent and I had the means to provide what she was asking, about 200 pesos, which is less than $20 U.S. dollars.  I could give it to her, accept her thanks, send her on her way, and go about my day feeling a little better about myself.

As I spoke with her and asked questions, I began to pray about the best way to handle the situation.  How we deal with people is messy, but important.  We can hurt ourselves and those we are trying to help without even realizing it.  

In the next several post, I will tell you how we handled this situation, and open myself up to the judgement that may come with that.  I do it gladly and humbly in hopes that maybe a conversation can be started about what poverty is, how to best help and if we should even help at all.  

For today I leave you with a quote from When Helping Hurts.

"We must do our best to preach the gospel, to find cures for maleria, and to foster affordable housing.  But part of our striving is also to fall on our knees every day and pray, "Lord be merciful to me and my friends here, because we are both sinners."  And part of our striving means praying every day, "Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven, for without You we cannot fix our communities, our nation, our world."  

What are your intial thoughts on poverty?  

Mamut Cake

Here on the field life is a little different, we are aware our children miss out on somethings their counterparts in the U.S. have and do.  In light of this, we try to create traditions that the kids can look forward to, that make life unique and special and create memories.  For example, we did not have room to bring Christmas decorations when we came to Mexico, so we have a tradition of making decorations every year.  This year we made Peppermint ornaments, which you can see by (clicking here).  We also do Tostada Tuesdays, which you can see by (clicking here).  Another tradition is letting kids choose what kind of birthday cake they want to be made for them.  One year everyone wanted ice cream cakes, the next year everyone wanted cheesecake.  This year Josiah wanted pecan pie.

So this week Haden and I walked to the store for some carrots I needed for dinner.  He asked if he could bring a few pesos to buy a treat.  As we were walking along and he was thinking about his treat, he said he wanted a Mamut cake for his birthday.  I was a little confused, so he explains this is his favorite sweet treat at the tienda.  I tell him I have no idea what it is and need to take a look before I can promise anything.  After two tiendas we find carrots and mamut, which is what we called Moon Pies when I was growing up.  A round cookie sandwich with marshmallow filling, covered in chocolate.  When we got home I typed "Moon Pie" into the Pinterest search engine and there were actually several recipes for homemade moon pies.  Figuring out how to modify the recipe to make it the size of a cake was pretty easy.  It turned out very yummy, very sweet, but very yummy.

The kids and I had fun with the PicMonkey edits.

Mamut means Mammoth, by the way!  Before you get too impressed with my Spanish, I only know that because one of the kids told me.  This is the blog where I found the recipe for homemade Moon Pie. (Click here)

Pinterest Fail

When we moved to Mexico our Christmas ornaments were one of the things that just did not fit.  So, we began a new tradition of making Christmas ornaments.  We have made popcorn chains with chilis, popcorn balls (very yummy, they make great gifts also), paper snowflakes, origami cranes, dried apples and oranges (bonus: they smell great), cute little peanut snowmen, gingerbread cookies, ect.  The kids love this tradition.  

I turned to Pinterest for inspiration this year and I found this neat idea that SEEMED very easy and staight forward.  The idea was to place peppermint candies in cookie cutters and place them in the over to melt together, producing {these} cute ornaments.  Honestly, I thought the hardest part would be finding peppermint candy in Oaxaca, Mexico.  Super, mega easy...right?  I mean, I'm crafy...right?  :)

I think this is when you say...NAILED IT!

In the end, we did get a few to turn out nice enough to hang on the tree.  

How about you?  What Christmas tradition do you enjoy with your family?

Hopping Around the Internet Today

So, I'm kind of doing a fun and new thing today...well new to me anyway.  Some of my missionary blogger friends around the world are doing a "Round Robin" hosted by Baptist Mission Women.  So be sure and click the link on the bottom of the page to go to the next blog and discover a whole new mission field and missionary family.



As part of the "Round Robin", I am sharing 5 interesting (hopefully interesting anyway) things about myself.

Five Interesting Things About Me:

1.) I am an outgoing introvert...it's complicated...be patient with me when I do not answer your call.

2.) I have ridden in an ambulance in a foreign country.  {click here}

3.) I have jumped out of a military airplane...five times.  Sorry I do not have any pictures, but I do have the wings to prove it.  Here is a picture of one of my boys, who is now big enough to wear my old uniform. 

4.)  I have swam in the Pacific Ocean, but never been to California.  {click here}  And I can not completely confirm, but we may have been invited over to a pastor's house to eat iguana while living on the coast of Oaxaca, Mexico.  

5.)  One time we built a sun oven from stuff we got at the thrift store and baked bread using only the energy from the sun.  {click here}


So I asked my kids to list some interesting things about me.  This was the best I could get:

1.) You have a very ominous oder in the morning.  I think hope he was joking.  :)  But you kind of have to be proud of the creative use of the word ominous.

2.) You wax your legs instead of shaving.

3.) You can come up with games and activities at a moments notice.

4)  You can grow a garden anywhere.

5.)  You have six kids that are oozing with awesomeness who do the dishes.

6.)  You take great pictures.

Thanks for reading today!  Now {click here} to visit Johvi, Estonia where Rachel writes Rachel's Reflections: My life as wife, mom and missionary.

Thankful Thursday

I'll be straight with you.  I've been hurt very badly during this missionary journey...by people in "the ministry".  Much worse than I ever thought imaginable.  I have spoken of it to very, very few people.  Healing has been slow and painful.  Today someone posted a post by Women Living Well Ministries.  

She very concisely pens some things that I have journaled or thought in my journey to heal that is far from over.  One thing she said that I had never quite been able to put into words was "Moving on is not...Trust or reconciliation.  It takes two to reconcile.  When no acknowledgement of the pain they have caused you comes, this leaves an open wound that only Christ can fill."  

This struck me in two ways.  First, I am not the only one this has happened to, I am not crazy, I have been deeply wounded.  And secondly, for the moment, healing means a daily battle to turn my pain over to Christ and let him fill my open wound.  

Elizabeth Elliot, who knows great pain and great healing and forgiveness, adamantly and Biblically argues in her book A Pathway Through Suffering, that this was no surprise to God and He is in control, even in allowing this hurt. 

So, how am I working towards healing.  I'm doing lots of things.  I cry sometimes.  I journal.  I read my Bible and try to sit still at Jesus's feet.  I pray.  I pray blessings on those that wounded me (more on that later).  

One of my life lines during this time has been thankfulness.  I try to be actively thankful.  All. The. Time.  Not only is this Biblical, it is now being back up by research.  Don't believe me?  Check out this TedTalk by Shawn Achor, the founder of GoodThink. 

So, today, today I am thankful for my washing machine and water for my washing machine.  When we moved here, a Mexican lady gave us a washing machine.  It was in very bad shape and I tend to work my washing machine to death anyway (there are eight of us).  But it was a great sacrifice for her and a great blessing to us.  However, by the time it was put out to pasture, I don't think it really cleaned the clothes, I just put them in and pretended it did.  When we were in the U.S. for visa paperwork at the end of 2013 one of the families that supports us, bought us a brand new washing machine!  Hand wash a few loads of clothes and you will see why I am extremely thankful for my washing machine. 

So, thank you Lord:

• For my washing machine.
• For the new little person in our house that is making more laundry.
• And for a pump, so we can wash clothes, even when there is no city water.

What are you thankful for today?